On Your Thirty-First Birthday

Dear Auds,

When I think about growing older, I remember how I used to dream about my 20’s as a teenager. I thought that maybe by then I’d be in a job I love. Maybe I’d live in a place you only see in American tv. Maybe I’d have a car. Maybe by then I already knew how to drive.

Then when I imagined growing older than 20, my brain would go straight to being 40. At forty, maybe I’d already have a family of my own. Maybe I’d have my own house with a large yard filled with perfectly manicured bermuda grass. Maybe I’d be the head bitch of the job I have loved since I was twenty.

I am neither in my 20’s nor my 40’s. Neither are you. And today you turn thirty-one. Have you ever imagined how life was gonna be like in your 30’s? If the limits of your fantasy skipped a decade like mine, then perhaps it happened for the best. There is no younger version of you to disappoint, no older version of you to be left dealing with whatever hopes and dreams remained unfulfilled. In this decade, anything is possible.

May the rest of your thirties be filled with daydreams. May you find the best dishes to fill your cupboards with, the best works of art about the delicacy of existence to fill your walls with, and the best poems about desire and dancing around emotions to fill your shelves with. And because I am a sucker for aliteration, I also hope that in this decade you find the D of your dreams.

I love you, Audrina. May all your wishes come true.

PS

Of course I found a sad poem for you to consume.